WHY?

Before my Dad’s death, I told him that for some reason, I had known for several years that I would some day deal with a very serious situation during my life. You see, I have worked with kids, high school drummers, Sunday school classes etc. and I have always PREACHED the importance of prayer, faith and a Positive Attitude. For that reason, I have felt that my metal would one day be tested…

While I do not think that God tests us, I do think that he allows us to go through things that make us better and to make us understand. I have read that God uses our various needs to create a hunger for him. I know there are many opinions on this subject, and I am by no means an expert, but I do know that God allowed me to go through some pretty tough things, and he also guided me through every step of the way, even when my attitude was not so great…(I tried to keep that private) This did in fact create a hunger within me to become closer to Him. This also prepared me for what He wanted me to be and do TODAY.

My wife, Nancy, and I were in the final stages of building a house. I was doing much of the labor, so weight loss was not totally unexpected. We finished the house, and moved in on November 7, 2004. I had been having an issue with the hiccups for several months and went to the Dr. Rubery on November 17^th to have my esophagus dilated. This is a pretty minor procedure (as long as you are asleep). When I woke up from the anesthesia my wife Nancy and the doctor both appeared somewhat disturbed. They proceeded to tell me that the doctor had found a tumor in my esophagus, and it was in fact cancer. It really didn’t hit me, and frankly I was not totally surprised. As I stated earlier, I was somewhat prepared for something of this magnitude, but it still has a numbing effect. I, as most men do, immediately went into “FIX IT” mode.

In the beginning, I did what most humans do and ask WHY ME? Then it was made very clear to me rather quickly that this was not about me. Try that on for size…I have cancer, but it is not about me? Something that kept ringing in my mind is something that Zig Ziglar has said for years…I could either react or respond. When medicine has a negative effect on you it is called a reaction. When medicine works for you, then you are RESPONDING. I chose to respond. In my case, not necessarily for others, this was an opportunity of a lifetime to inspire others, to get closer to my Savior and to be closer to Nancy than ever before. Now that I knew why, where did we go from here?

I immediately started chemotherapy, and shortly thereafter I started radiation. I met with my surgeon, Dr. Serfolio, early in the treatment process, only to find out that at that point I was not operable. I did not really understand the gravity of that statement until later.

You see, I am the type of person that typically does not want all the details, especially the negative ones. I certainly did not want a doctor that gave me percentages or time frames for survival. In my opinion, that would have been admitting defeat before we ever started the fight. I did not know that being diagnosed with stage 4 cancer had a life expectancy of 6 to 12 month. Nancy also tells me that the mortality rate is around 3%. I am not too good at math, but those odds are not too good. In other words, I was terminal. TERMINAL! Fortunately, I did not know that at the time. The one thing that really hurts looking back on this now is that Nancy did know this and was dealing with it without me knowing it. She was having to process all of this, especially the terminal part, without me. Although we talked about many things concerning this disease, we never discussed the prognosis other than “WHEN I AM HEALED”. I had told her that I didn’t need or want to know the particulars, just what I needed to do to beat it, and she did just that. She kept me focused on getting better.

No part of this entire story was left to chance. There was a master plan from the beginning and even through today. One piece of the equation was my Oncologist, Dr. Susan Ferguson. I was seeing another Oncologist, her partner, and was in good hands. For some strange reason, on one of my appointments, my other doctor was not in and Dr. Ferguson saw me. It was immediately apparent that this was the doctor that God wanted me to see. She made it obvious that she was a Christian, and that prayer was the biggest part of whipping the monster.

One thing that stayed fresh in my mind was a great friend, and mentor, although he probably never knew it, had been fighting cancer for several years. It seemed like every time he licked it in one place, it popped up somewhere else. My friend’s name is Ray Hosey and cancer finally took his life in January, 2006. While cancer had him on the ropes for a long time, he remained strong and confident until God called him home. His struggle proved to be a point of strength to me throughout my treatment. His reliance on prayer poured out on me and prayer became more important to me than ever before. Prayer for others was far more important than for me. My prayer for me was to be an inspiration to others, and continued thanks for the day that He had given me.

As you will see, I was the most prayed for guy that I had ever known, so it was only natural to focus MY prayer on others. This was not an original thought; I was being guided to do this. God was transforming his power from theory to reality in my life.

Nancy had started contacting the grapevine the day I was diagnosed, beginning with our families and then a few friends. As with most grapevines, the word spread rather quickly, and quite extensively. Immediately, the overwhelming number of calls, cards and e-mails shocked me. I heard from people that I had not spoken to since high school. They ALL started putting me on their prayer list at their churches, and asking their friends and family to pray for me. People that I thought would never darken the door of a church were calling and writing me that they and their families were praying sincerely for me and for my family, and that they fully believed that God was going to give the doctors the ability to heal me. I received e-mails from other countries that I was being prayed for there. One of my closest childhood friends, Steven Dial, called me one night. After talking for a few minutes, he asked me if he could pray for me, right there on the telephone. My high school pastor, Frank Samuels, a prayer warrior in his own right, kept weekly updates circulating through his church, and I was prayed for at least every Wednesday night, and if I know Frank, he was praying every day and encouraging other to do the same. Oddly enough, Frank had been called a few years ago back to the church in my home town that I had been very active in as a youth. This was the church where I was Saved. When he asked his congregation to pray for me, they knew me and my family, so I was not just a name on a prayer list. Again, part of a much bigger plan.

During all of this, I continued to play every week at my church except for two Sunday’s (I am a percussionist) I also had the honor of playing with The Thompson High School Jazz Band along with one of my best Pal’s Bruce Andrews, and many of my former students, not to mention my family, were in attendance. This was during my hairless period, which takes a bit of nerve. It is hard to believe how much impact it has on others to continue to do things like this while you are in the fight of your life. I also worked a pretty full schedule and my business continued to grow at 67%. People would ask me when I thought I would be able to return to work and to playing. That always struck me as funny because I did not know it was an option NOT to work or to play percussion. You can even pull off having a positive attitude while doing all of these things as long as you go home and crash for a few hours afterwards. Fortunately, that was the part that people did not see, other than Nancy and my Girls. I was able to miss only two weeks of work, seven days of which were due to being in the hospital.

Toward the end of my treatments, Dr. Ferguson told me that she was very pleased with my chemotherapy treatments. She felt that taking the aggressive approach had benefited me in the attempt to become operable because I was tolerating the treatments very well.. The Radiation Oncologist was so pleased with my progress and absolutely no side effects that he lengthened my radiation treatments. He had told me prior to the treatments that I could expect some skin irritation and certainly that swallowing would feel as though I had razor blades in my throat. It was clear that the prayer for me by others was working because I never had any soreness in my throat or skin irritation. My Oncologists office held weekly staff meetings where they prayed for their patients. The nursing staff told me each week that their church had prayed for me on the previous Sunday. We had a small group of friends from our church come to our home one evening and the primary reason was to pray for me. It was at that point that I really realized the tremendous number of people that were praying for me. In additions to the numbers, there were a few people that I know without a shadow of a doubt had a direct connection to God, and I was certain that their prayers were being answered. Nancy is one, and my Mom is the other. I knew that as long as I had these two praying for me, everything was going to be OK.

After another round of tests, we returned to the surgeon. I was now operable, and he scheduled the surgery for two weeks later. WOW, this guy didn’t waste any time. And WOW, it suddenly dawned on Nancy and I that God had already worked one miracle by me now being operable. My surgery was on a Monday morning, and from what I understand, my family and friends took over the surgical waiting room at UAB Hospital.

Of course my Mom was there, my sister drove in from Atlanta and even my brother flew in from South Florida, which touched me in a very special way. My other brothers, and parents (in-laws) were there. I was surrounded and didn’t even know it. Even though we are close in many ways, we do have our separate lives. In so many cases, we all, as do most people, go about things like this and simply phone in our concerns. Not my family. Even though I didn’t see them, I knew they were there. After 5 ½ hours of surgery, and I am certain of 5 ½ hours of turbo prayer, Dr. Serfolio told Nancy that he had successfully removed 75% of my esophagus to get the DEAD tumor out, 75% of my stomach so that it would now fit into my chest and lymph nodes from eleven different areas. He felt at that point that he had removed everything threatening. Miracle #2.

You may notice that I refer to virtually everything to do with the battle as WE rather

than I. Without Nancy and our daughters, Nichole and Hillary, I would not have been able to endure everything that the past year had thrown at me. Merely thinking about their commitment to me and to my recovery brings tears to my eyes daily in gratitude. God has created a very special place for them in his kingdom.

My best Pal Bruce Andrews told me prior to surgery that I would come out of this a better, healthier and more chiseled Teeto and Dave. I think he is right. That statement kept playing over and over in my mind during my hospital stay, and even through today.

(if you do not know what TEETO is, just ask me…I will have to explain)

During the recovery from surgery at home, the question in my mind now was WHY ME? Not why did I get cancer, but why did I survive? Especially knowing now that I really did not have much chance for survival. Why did I survive when so many others do not? According to Dr. Ferguson, this is a very normal response called survivors guilt.

Nancy’s Mom and Dad came to our home for a week to help out during the recovery from surgery. My mother In Law, Sue Couch told me one day that God had kept me on this earth for a reason. She told me that my work for him was not yet finished. All I had to do now is wait on his instructions, and I would understand WHY…I began asking God to show me why. .Being the impatient type I figured God would take his time answering me, and my fear was that I would stop asking before he answered.

God did answer me, and I now understand that I asked that question so that I could be sure that I am doing what God wants me to do with my life to honor Him. The reason I am still on this earth is to inspire others, and to be a living miracle of answered prayers.

Reality, not theory. The reason I am still on this earth is to share this story and to try to help others like Ray Hosey deal with what they are going through. Ray’s struggle meant more to me than I could ever explain, and I can say that it has offered strength to me when I needed it most, which enabled me to offer something back to Ray in his final days here on this earth. There is not much I can do for people that are suffering other than to pray for them as they prayed for me. Please do not think that I am discounting how important that is to someone in need. I can also be there to listen to them as someone who has gone through at least some of what they are going through and be something of an inspiration to them and give hope. My life, through God’s grace and mercy should offer hope to the hopeless and stress the importance of prayer and a solid relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

As you can see, prayer is the central ingredient throughout this entire period of my life. Prayer is by far the most important part of this, and I am certain that prayer has touched others through all of this. I know that prayer is a much larger part of our lives now.

Please remember this…Many people tell you that they will pray for you when you are in need. We also tell others that we will pray for them in their time of need. I believe that it is safe to say that this term is used quite freely, but in many cases not so sincerely. How many times have we told someone that we are praying for them, but we never seem to get around to it? When you tell someone that you will pray for them, PLEASE pray for them. I am living proof that God answers prayer. Please don’t let anyone you know or love go without your prayers when they need them most. Where would I be if all the people that said they would pray for me, really didn’t? God took the time to get around to healing me, and he is certainly much more busy than we are, so the very least we can do is find a few minutes to lift others up to Him.

I pray daily that I live up to what God has kept me here for.

I am now CANCER FREE. THREE YEARS...Thank God for his mercy, and for hearing and answering prayer

WHY? Because God answers prayer. That’s Why…

Tell someone.

Dave Gowens